I’ve been following news on the Droid since it was announced, hoping it would live up to the iPhone and I wouldn’t have to dump Verizon for AT&T.  I got an email regarding the phone’s new website, and I hate it.  Not the phone (jury’s still out) – but the site.

Here’s a screenshot of the site – which overall isn’t that bad – kind of clever actually.  Once you sit through or skip the “DROID>IPHONE” apple commercial spoof intro, this big ball loads and we’re meant to click on the concepts surrounding it.  When you click on one the big ball shows info about that item.  I like this concept.  I loathe the execution.

Yes, after some concentration, I can read that white text – but it ain’t easy.  There’s also an animation rolling around behind the letters – the red dots pulsing in and out.  Seriously?! Why should I have to squint to read about the phone’s features?  Shouldn’t they get top billing?

Additionally, the only thing that changes when you pick a new link from the wheel is that white text.  The DROID DOES logo and phone image don’t change.  Couldn’t you have put some hardware photos, or some OS screenshots in there?  I don’t want to read a two-sentence paragraph about the Droid’s GPS features.  I want to SEE the damn map.

One of the Droid’s biggest “I’m better than iPhone” claims is it’s 5 megapixel camera.  Here’s an unconventional idea – SHOW SOME SAMPLE PHOTOS.  Even if they’re fakes.  Nobody will know the difference and you’ve at least embedded the idea in your customer’s heads that the thing takes decent photos.

Seriously.  There’s a link that says “calendars” and no pictures of the calendar interface.  The God of the Internet is weeping.

Congrats, however, on making it all shiny and pretty.  That’s definitely more important than actually delivering any content.

Hey guys,

The Internet just wanted to you be aware of acne.  Dear everyone:  acne exists.  See?  Now you’re aware.  Mission accomplished.

At this link: http://garyc.mooo.com:3232/sketch/sketch.swf is an untitled application that lets you draw a sketch and swap it with a random stranger on the Internet.

Here’s what I drew:

Here’s the sketch I got in return:

This is why I will always and forever love the Internet.

HEY EVERYBODY – If you try out the drawing app, put your drawing and what you get back in the comments.  And, while I’m making demands, give some money to charity, hug a puppy, or something.

This is old, but still worth posting.

I came back from lunch one day to find this message waiting for me:

They really know how to target me.

In the months leading up to January 1, 1999, we heard a lot of “party like it’s 1999″ jokes.  On January 2, 1999, all those jokes were officially voided.  Many of us had that one friend who attempted a “party like it’s 2000″ joke the next year and was forever ostracized.

My point:  DO YOU THINK YOU ARE CLEVER, INTERNET?

By the way - "Save people, not bankers"? Are bankers actually androids? Did THAT cause the market crash?

I could go on, but screenshots of other peoples’ headlines get old fast.

My rage is only increased by the fact that as I uploaded all of those pictures, I was treated to my memory’s best rendition of the chorus of “1999″ about 98 billion times.  THANKS, GUYS!

In these trying economic times, I hope Prince is making a few bucks off royalties.